When we recieved our feedback from our peers on our film opening it became apparent that the majority thought our voice over was too short and came too early on that if you were late to see the start of the film you would miss it and wouldn't understand the rest of the film. It was an important piece of dialogue and so it needed to be heard. We moved it back to when she gets onto the train as it still presents the same mood.
We added more to the script as our peers said it was too short, therefore we added the amount of dialogue into our voice so that it also explained where the girl was going as many asked "why was she on a train?" so within the voiceover it explained where she was coming back from to help with the understanding of her journey.
Originally the script was - '"The doctor said brain activity should be maintained, he said looking at old pictures and going through my everyday routine would help"
The improved speech is now - "I'm on my way back from the neurology unit at the specialist hospital in London. There was only a single thought running through my head that afternoon. The doctors that brain activity should be maintained. He said that looking through old pictures and going through my everyday routine would help. This was my first therapy to help with the retrieval of my memory and i was determined to make it work'
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