Script Changes

When we recieved our feedback from our peers on our film opening it became apparent that the majority thought our voice over was too short and came too early on that if you were late to see the start of the film you would miss it and wouldn't understand the rest of the film. It was an important piece of dialogue and so it needed to be heard. We moved it back to when she gets onto the train as it still presents the same mood. 

We added more to the script as our peers said it was too short, therefore we added the amount of dialogue into our voice so that it also explained where the girl was going as many asked "why was she on a train?" so within the voiceover it explained where she was coming back from to help with the understanding of her journey. 

Originally the script was - '"The doctor said brain activity should be maintained, he said looking at old pictures and going through my everyday routine would help"

The improved speech is now - "I'm on my way back from the neurology unit at the specialist hospital in London. There was only a single thought running through my head that afternoon. The doctors that brain activity should be maintained. He said that looking through old pictures and going through my everyday routine would help. This was my first therapy to help with the retrieval of my memory and i was determined to make it work'

Music Feedback

We got a lot of feedback on our music in our opening sequence. 

• The first piece of feedback we got was that the music we had was too much of a famous song even though it was a cover. So if the artist found it he could claim copyright and we would have to remove our entire film therefore we decided to change the music. We found this difficult as every song we found was either too famous even though it was a cover. Then we found that the songs we were finding were too slow and didn't fit the pace of our film. The songs were love songs and didn't fit the genre of our film as it is a teen drama.
• The second piece of feedback we got was that the music we decided on for the opening scene of our film, the xx intro, didn't suit the theme of our film as we wanted to portray a theme of teen drama whereas they said the music made it feel more like a thriller and as though someone was watching the girl or following her. In order to improve on this we changed it to Let Her Go by Passenger instrumental but then we were told that this too was a famous song and we shouldn't use it. 

Titles Feedback

Here are a list of titles that will feature in our film in order of appearance. Some of the feedback we were given was that we didn't have enough titles throughout the start of our film so we added a few more to the original ones we had. Our feedback also said that the titles had to appear for a minimum of 3 seconds and that some of our titles weren't on screen for that length of time so we made them longer. 

Below is a full list of titles that will feature in our film opening. 

1. Libby Collins 
2. Runner Productions 
3. Frankie Edwards 
4. Katie Harragan
5. Title of film  (Amnesia)
6. Directed by Simon Hull
7. Edited by Julie Walker
8. Executive Producer Andrew Lavin 
9. Sound Effects by Debbie Ellis 

Titles we added: 

1. Music by Philip Round 
2. Casting by Jacob Odd
3. Production designer Melanie Smith 
4. Costume designer Leanne Clark 
5. Photography by Robert Cole 

More Feedback

We got some extra feedback from our teachers and peers after asking them to watch out film after making a few amendments. These were there comments for more improvement: 

• We need to look at pur titles research and pit the titles in the right order
• They need to be 2-3 seconds each
• Part of the voice over doesn't make sense so we will delete the part saying she want to 'achieving my memories'
• More photographic effects- freeze frames before they play
• Sort music out- they change to quickly so it doesn't make sense 
• Bowling alley and ice hockey shots are too long so we need to delete a few seconds off each

Once we changed and improved our film by adding these we were ready to hand in our final draft of Amnesia. 

Feedback

A variety of people watched our film and then gave it a mark and told us their opinion about it. 

Overall we received a mid range mark of between 35-42 for our first draft and we were aware that there were a few things that we already wanted to change. 

Refelction

Throughout the process of putting our film together we have made many changes of which we have written about. There were many reasons for this as they all differed. 

• We had a lot of trouble trying to get the 'look' of the titles correct. Originally we wanted them to be written into the scrapbook but the timings weren't working and the style of handwriting we couldn't agree on. Then we decided we would have the titles to appear letter by letter with 3D foam letters but then we couldn't make that idea work properly without it looking messy and we were pushed for time as we needed the scrapbook when filming. 
• We also had to change the script as we realised there wasn't enough dialogue within the film and that was also one of our feedback points. We changed the script to lengthen the voice over but also to clear up any confusion as to where the girl was coming from/going to. 
• We also found that we had to add in more memories to the flashback as we had more time to fill than we had anticipated. We planned to only have two or three memories but then we had to add more into it as we had time left over. However, this wasn't an issue because we had shot enough footage in Southend to make up for the time we had to fill in. 

Draft Feedback

On December 5th we handed in our first draft. We were given some feedback on how we could improve our film to make it better. When we handed it in we knew we were short of footage by about 30 seconds and so this was our first point we needed to improve on for the final draft in a weeks time. Here was our feedback:

• Our voice over was too early in the film so if you were to miss the first 10 seconds of the film the theme wouldn't be as clear. Also the speech "brain activity" wasn't very clear and was read to quickly. In order to improve on both of these points we will look at changing the placement of the voice over in the chronological order of the film. We will also re-record the voice over to slow down the speech and clearly pronounce all the words. 
• There was a wobbly shot. Our tracking shot that we filmed at the train station was wobbly which looked unprofessional. In order to change this we will experiment on Premier to try and stabilise the shot.  
• Too many flashes to black. After the first few shots flashed to black it lost its effectiveness and started to make it annoying, they also lasted to long, as the original idea was for it to look like a blink. In order to improve this we will experiment on Premier using different video effect and transitions to keep our audience interested.
• Slow down the shot where Libby is looking at the scrapbook as the scrapbook is supposed to be an important prop within the film. We can improve this by editing the shot on Premier and slowing down the speed/duration to make it last longer. 
• The shot which has the teacups in is too dark and a different contrast of black and white compared to the other black and white shots. In order to improve this we will make sure that all of our black and white shots have to same brightness.
• One of the titles is missing from a shot so we will need to add that back on and check that all the other titles are included and correct.
• The title of our film comes in too late and needs to feature earlier as only trailers show the title at the end of the clip. To improve this we will play around with where we could have the title come in but making sure it doesn't give away the concept of the film.  
• They liked the first shot of the lift.
• They thought that the titles that are pushed by the train work well and show good use of editing. 

Things that went well

From our first draft there were a list of things that we were told which went well: 

- The footage is Southend fits well with our genre and looks good.
-The idea of the film is original and creative

- Putting some of the effects to go with the music was good

- People thought the final shot in front of the sunset was good.
-The parts that fit with the beat of the music work well.
-We included various camera shots.
-People likes the production logo
-The titles that are pushed by the train look good.
-We had many comments saying the editing was good.
-Most of our shots were steady.

Music Changes

When we received our feedback for the choice of music, many commented that the pace and theme of the music didn't suit our genre or theme therefore we changed the track a few times to see which fit well and worked with the pace and themes of our film. We researched a few different tracks with different paces, some with lyrics and some without and then made our decision. 

Frankie suggested this piece of music as it had a heavy beat behind it which automatically builds suspense within the film giving it the desired effect we wanted although we were unable to use this piece as it was too well known. 

We looked at another track which was similar to our first choice although it's an instrumental cover of John Legends song 'Made To Love'. We thought this track might fit our film better as it was had  change of beat through out the track, which is what we originally wanted for the start of the film.



The track we decided to use was a song that none of us had heard before but Frankie found it when searching through YouTube and we thought it would suit our film. 

Ideas Feedback

Before we left to shoot we asked our teacher and some peers to give us some feedback on our ideas as this would help us with the genre and the actual construction of putting the film ideas together. We also wanted some feedback on the titles within the scrapbook as we were finding this difficult. 

Mr Amato- 'The genre is confusing especially the titles which don't seem to match the genre, aside from this it is a creative, original idea.' 
He advised that we add drawings, doodles and pictures do the background of our scrapbook. 

In response to his feedback we have tweaked our genre slightly, it is now more a teen drama than a mystery film. The titles were too quirky to be associated with the mystery genre. 

Issy Payne- 'When filming the memories Libby will have to wear different clothes to show they are in the past, other than that it is a good original idea'

In response to this we realised she was right that Libby will have to wear different clothing when filming the memories or it won't be obvious that it is in the past.